RENT MY OH'S Read online

  She got home and checked her messages. Mark called a few hours earlier. She prepared to have insult added to injury. Mark’s voice was soft. He told her that he loved her and apologized for the things he said earlier. He said he felt bad about not being able to help financially but reminded her that his door was still wide open. She was more than welcome to come live with him whether temporary or permanent. He would call later in the afternoon.

  Jamie sat frozen on the floor. How could she have done this to him? He was more important to her than money and the apartment. She didn’t have an excuse except the fact that Jamie always wanted what she wanted. Never did she stop to think about how this would jeopardize their relationship. She blew her nose with her dress. She was throwing it away. It was definitely time for a change.

  Jamie walked to the pantry for her morning coffee. She felt good about her decisions to move in with Mark. Life would move on from here. Jamal walked in with a victorious smile. She ignored him. He played her last night but he would be long gone after today. She headed out of the pantry.

  “What? No thanks?” Jamal said with a laugh.

  She kept walking. No use upsetting herself before her meeting with the Finance Manager. She was going to be clear headed when she asked for her raise

  The morning dragged. Jamal kept walking slowly past her desk making noises and winking. She continued to ignore him and kept herself busy. By ten o’clock she was fed up with Jamal’s rude behavior. He was behind her clearing his throat.

  “Look Jamal, I have an important meeting this afternoon. I’d appreciate you staying the hell out of my face.”

  “Like you’re important,” he said. “You’re probably just having the same type of meeting that we had last night.” He sipped his coffee and winked at her.

  That was it. “Actually, we’re discussing one of two things -my raise or your termination.” She glared at him. One more report about your…soliciting and you won’t be going anywhere.”

  He laughed. “No one will believe your trifling ass over me.”

  “Oh yeah?” she asked aggressively. “This will be strike number three for you. I know all about your previous reprimands and I don’t mind adding another to your file. You think I’m weak because I didn’t lash out last night,” she was steaming. “Tell you what; if I don’t have my money before this meeting, you will be the topic of discussion. My original business plan can wait. Laugh now punk.”

  Jamal swallowed hard. “You participated willingly.” He stepped closer.

  “Tell it to the judge. Regardless of your defense, the process will be lengthy and you can kiss your move goodbye. My meeting is at one o’clock.” She turned her back to him.

  He hesitated while thinking it over. “You can have your punk ass money. Cheapest lay I ever had.”

  “Is that right?” She turned to face him again. “In that case, kick me twelve hundred and consider me the most expensive.” Her face said that she was dead serious and he knew it.

  “Are you crazy? I don’t have that type of cash.”

  “It would be in your best interest to get it.”

  He was silent for a moment. She was bluffing but she wanted to make him sweat. She looked at her watch. “Time is moving.”

  He wouldn’t let her ruin his career. He would pay but she would too. “I think I’ll take an early lunch.”

  “You do that. And try not to spend too much on food,” she said with a wink.

  He stormed out of her office.

  At twelve twenty-five, Jamal was back at her desk. He was on fire. The envelope landed on her desk with a hard thud.

  “Here’s your payment,” he said. “The sleazy sex wasn’t worth it but my job is.”

  She carefully slid the envelope towards her and smiled. He was an idiot. She counted the money slowly. Jamal folded his arms and stared at her with disgust. “If you don’t mind,” she said. “Our business is finished.”

  By the end of the day, Jamie was on an all time high. Her meeting was all smiles and congratulations. Jamal’s stupid ass had given her the money and her boss gave her a nice raise. She hadn’t heard from Mark. They were going to have a great evening. She would use her new found wealth to treat him to a fabulous dinner. Then, she would tell him the great news about her new raise and her plans to take him up on his offer. He would be ecstatic about the move. She drove home with the music blaring Beyonce’s “Diva”. Today was a great day.

  She arrived home to find Mr. Johnson standing at her door checking his watch. He frowned at her and handed her some papers. She snatched them and crumpled them into a ball.

  He looked shocked. “You need to review the paperwork.”

  “Go to hell,” she yelled. “I’m moving so you can just keep your little paperwork.” She rolled her eyes and unlocked her door.

  She still hadn’t heard from Mark. After changing out of her work clothes, she gave him a call.

  “What,” he answered.

  “Excuse me? Baby, its Jamie.”

  “I know who it is. Where were you last night?”

  “Sleeping,” she lied. “I’ve got great news. Please don’t be mad. I’ll make it all up to you. We’re going to have a fabulous dinner on me. And then, I’ll tell you my news.”

  “Save your lies and stop wasting my time. Jamal called me today and gave a recap of last night. How could you do this? I’ve been good to you. Always listening to your self-inflicted problems without judging. I even offered to let you move into my home. You fucked him for rent money?”

  “Baby, he’s lying. He’s mad because I wouldn’t fuck him. He’s just trying to get back at me for brushing him off.” She sighed. “I can’t believe he’s so desperate. Did you really fall for that?”

  “Shut up,” he screamed. “Don’t try to pull that offended shit on me. You talk too damn much. You didn’t have money for rent but now you’re treating for dinner. He described the birthmark on your inner thigh and your favorite position. I know about the blackmail too. You have reached an all time low in my book.”

  “Mark, please listen…”

  “I listened while you were at work. “Our business is finished,” he mocked. “Lose my number.”

  Sneak peek

  “Diva in Despair”

  Part 2 of The Jamie Chronicles

  a novel by Dawn Jennings

  Jamie rolled over and farted. That’s exactly how she felt about going to work this morning. She knew she should’ve never eaten that leftover chili last night. But that’s what goes on when you’re broke and hungry.

  She slid to the edge of the bed then looked at the walls around her. She still wasn’t used to waking up in a cell. Two years and no unemployment checks later, she was sitting in a one bedroom apartment fit for a queen. Queen of the ants that is...in a ghetto colony. Her life had definitely changed. She went from being a diva with a good job, to being a laid off diva.

  Shortly after her raise to fame, there was a merger. With the merger came cut backs. The raise that made her jump for joy became her downfall. It pushed her into the “making too much money and we don’t want to pay you bracket”. Mariah said it was her payback for the stunt she pulled on Jamal. She had to admit that she didn’t even spend the blackmail money wisely.

  She put in so many applications and went to so many interviews but couldn’t get a job to save her life. She knew it was payback for all the times she chastised people for being lazy and unemployed. Karma is a beast. She has the memory of an elephant and the attack of a Saber tooth tiger. In this instance, Karma needs her ass medicated.

  Her relationship with Mark came to a monstrous ending. Just thinking about what he did still sent shock waves through her veins. How could you be with someone for years and never really know who they are?

  Thanks to her friend Mariah, she was heading towards the light. There were more than a few pit stops, but at least she was on the right street. She had prayed for humility and it smacked the hell out of her. She didn’t know if she should thank God, bla
me God, or continue begging for mercy. She knew it could always be worse but at the same time she never knew it could be so bad. She quickly sent up thanks. Her heart knew, it was her head that kept looking back over that fence.

  She better get moving for work. Despite her mighty fight, she ended up working at the bottom of the totem pole. Her degrees and experience hadn’t mattered in the least. She was barely making half of what she used to. And the benefits were nonexistent. She shook her head just like she did every morning at the thought of working for loose change. At least it was Friday and she could look forward to not seeing their faces until Tuesday. Three day weekends made her toes curl. Her boss was a control freak and under him was her supervisor who supervised her and two other people. Did three people really need two supervisors?

  Jamie had a rough Friday with the boss and the supervisor who was drunk with power. She made the mistake of asking to print out her report so she could do a search on missing information. That caused an all out ruckus. The boss went on a tirade about his compulsion with “go green”. At first Jamie thought she didn’t have a printer because her petty boss wanted to force her to ask. She soon found out that she was not permitted to print. The man was crazy. He went on and on explaining how she could minimize and do split screens until Jamie only heard his monotone murmuring. He started coughing and then blowing his nasty nose. There were no cubicles and she had to look at his meaty face all day. He had the same cold when she arrived months ago along with various cold sores that came and went as they pleased. Previously she had asked (on the sly) if he had asthma. He told her no and he didn’t appear to be on any special foods-unless the food was to enhance his morbid obesity.

  When he finally ran out of oxygen, Jamie looked around and noticed that everyone had a printer except her. So, she asked if this no printing thing was a company rule. The entire room went silent. The supervisor glared at her and the boss twisted his lips.

  “No, it’s not a company rule”, he said flatly.

  Jamie looked at him like he was crazy. This man was treating her like a child. How did he just decide that Jamie couldn’t print when he and everyone else printed throughout the day? He was simply using his position to piss her off. Of course he started asking her dumb questions about what she needed to print and why. Jamie just started ignoring him. A spectacle over printing. In all her years, she’d never experienced such nonsense. This was the same man who fueled his massive frame by constantly eating and using every paper towel in sight. She almost told him to go green with all the paper towels he used for his ten snacks per day. Instead, she laughed and minimized until her eyes hurt.

  Finally the work day was over. Jamie grabbed her Gucci bag and bid her dry co-workers farewell. She decided that she needed to make a stop on her way to Mariah’s. She grabbed a bottle of Moscato and a few Italian subs. They’d decided to meet at Mariah’s apartment since her son was home for the day.

  “Whew! Girl, I’m glad to be away from that place”, Jamie said. “No one has a personality and they want me to be a robot too. The boss called me into a one on one meeting today. I was so nervous that I thought about envisioning him butt naked. But I refrained. The thought of the thought made my stomach turn. He asked me if I liked my job. I wanted to yawn and tell him that my paycheck is a cruel joke but as of now; I need every row of nickels they give me.”

  Mariah laughed. “Tell me some good news. How’s it been going with Lamont?”

  “Actually it’s horrible. He claimed he was taking me shopping a few weeks ago but started off telling me that most of the stuff I picked out was too expensive. After I checked his cheap ass, he bought most of it anyway. As soon as we got to the restaurant, he walked ahead of me and went in. He didn’t hold the door nor did he wait for me. When I finally found him, he was seated asking me where I’d been. The only reason I didn’t trip like I wanted to was because of the things he bought. Three minutes after we placed our order, he started breathing really hard and asking where was the waitress with our food. At first I laughed thinking he was joking. He signaled a different waitress and questioned her about it. She went off to look for our waitress. Our original waitress came over and told us that our food was being prepared and should be coming out soon. He grunted and asked if we could have some fries until the food came. She brought out the fries and dude immediately ate half the plate without asking if I wanted any. He suddenly slapped down a fry and said,

  “These are cold.”

  When our waitress passed again, he told her the fries were cold. She offered to bring him another plate but he just gave her a disgusted look and waved her off saying he’d just wait for the dinner. She almost said more but I gave her the -I’m sorry he’s so rude and greedy look.”

  Mariah laughed at Jamie’s recant.

  “So basically, I’m not seeing him anymore”, Jamie said.

  “Just because of that?” Mariah asked.

  Jamie sighed. “Lamont is rude and he’s always late. I just don’t want to be bothered with that.”

  Jamie conveniently left out the part about the horrible sex. Mariah was celibate and often said things like. “Since we’re celibate” and “People like us who are celibate”... Jamie had been celibate for two years because she was so hurt by Mark but Mariah was on another level. She actually didn’t want to have sex whereas Jamie had been on strike.

  She’d been seeing Lamont for about three months. Add that to the two years of celibacy since Mark and she was ready to screw a scarecrow. Despite his rudeness, he had a great job and his body was chiseled to perfection. He used to be a fat kid hence the greedy performance at dinner. He hadn’t lost his hefty appetite he just worked off the fat.

  Their first encounter happened at Jamie’s apartment. After making out for half an hour, she led him to her bedroom. Although it was tiny, she strategically placed her queen sized bed and decorated it with bold colors but left the walls sparkling white. It gave the room splashes of color and made it appear larger. She’d read up on it in Better Homes and Gardens and it worked like a charm. He pulled off her shirt and started kissing her nipples. Not too bad she thought. She felt herself getting wet. She in turn pulled off his shirt and smoothed her hands over his muscles. He was gorgeous. She began licking his nipples and he started moaning.

  “Yes baby, yes baby that feels so good,” he chanted.

  He began to pull at her shorts and she gladly helped him get them off. She waited to see if he was going to eat the coochie but instead, he started taking his jeans off. Whatever she thought, right now I just need the D.

  He left his underwear on and asked her to stand so he could look at her. She obliged and he started rubbing his penis and moaning like she was rubbing it. Yeah, it was weird but she was horny as hell and simply wanted her kitty stroked. Finally he pulled off his underwear and Jamie almost fainted. He continued rubbing his penis while Jamie looked in amazement. That had to be the smallest penis she’d ever seen. He was in his own world rubbing and stroking that Vienna and moaning like he was getting some head. He even had the nerve to lick his lips. She wanted to run but sheer curiosity wanted to see this show play out. As he played with himself for the next few minutes, he seemed to forget she was even there. In the blink of an eye she heard a loud grunt and watched as he came all over himself. She had to be dreaming or was it the Henny? She continued standing there in disbelief while he panted and said

  “See what you made me do.”

  It took everything in her not to cuss him out. But some small part of her felt completely embarrassed for him.

  “Let me get you a towel,” she said.

  What the hell just happened? Did he really just nut? She shook her head and retrieved a towel still curious to see what happened next. All she needed was a bowl of popcorn and some milk duds. When she returned he didn’t have the smallest bit of shame. He simply told her to come here and had the nerve to reach for a condom. Every part of her wanted to tell him to get the hell out of there but he looked oblivious to what was
running rampant through her mind. He put the condom on and it had so many ripples it looked like a pair of pants from the dirty clothes hamper. She sighed and decided that she would go through with this nightmare because the situation was already as shameful as it could get. She climbed on top of him figuring the rubbing may get her off since that’s all she really needed anyway. She climbed on top and began to ride him He wiggled and yelled like she was the one with the penis. Five seconds later he yelped and shook again. Jamie wanted to laugh out loud. The shame had no end. He even had the nerve to be sweating.

  “You are so good baby,” he whispered.

  She actually liked him as a person but she wasn’t going to be able to be deal with the lousy dick. She tried to rationalize the situation. His previous relationship had lasted five years. His ex had to know about his pint sized problem- but she had stayed. Jamie decided then and there that he must have a mean head game. She wouldn’t cross him off just yet. Yes, he had a six year old penis but could she sacrifice for the life he could provide?