RENT MY OH'S

  “RENT MY OH’S”

  Part 1 of The Jamie Chronicles

  by Dawn Jennings

  Damn, another eviction notice. Jamie snatched the pink slip off the door and hurried inside. How embarrassing. She wondered how long the note had been broadcasted to all of her neighbors. She’d spent the last two nights at Mark’s. She tossed the note on the table, deciding that she would call the leasing officer to make payment arrangements. Why the manager kept wasting trees and ink issuing eviction notices was a mystery. He knew the routine.

  She phoned Mr. Johnson the next day. She knew he recognized her voice, but made her identify herself anyway. He put her on hold while he located her file. She wished he would stop with the drama. He knew what this was about.

  “Yes, Jamie in 304. It appears that you will be two months behind in your rent as of the 15th.”

  “Mr. Johnson, I won’t be two months behind. Next Friday I’ll have your rent for this month plus half of last month’s.”

  “Oh will you now?”

  Why is he playing? “Yes, I will. You know that I’m good for it,” she said.

  I don’t know what all you’re good for but I do know you’re not good for paying your rent on time and in full. I at least know that you received your eviction notice.”

  “I received it but you know I’ll…”

  “Stop telling me what I know. Either have last month’s rent in this office before 5 o’clock tomorrow, or I will proceed with the eviction.”

  Jamie stammered. “But Mr. Johnson, you know…”

  “Stop telling me what I know. Get to where you know what you know about paying this rent.”

  Jamie checked her vintage Bulova. Fifteen minutes before she was due on the clock. It was a good thing she always came to work early. It not only looked good, it allowed her to get mentally prepared for her day. She couldn’t believe Mr. Johnson. He’d made payment arrangements with her several times before. How could he evict her this time? She hit speed dial for Mark.

  “Hey baby.” He said. “I was just thinking about our wonderful weekend. What’s up?”

  “I have a huge dilemma.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I received an eviction notice.”

  “Another one?”

  “Yes Mark. I know, I know. This time he won’t let me make payments.”

  “Can you blame him?”

  “Whose side are you on?” She asked. “He should’ve never started accepting payments and then try to change things.”

  “You, Jamie, should’ve never went on that shopping spree like you were Liz Taylor.”

  “Oh, like you’ve never went beyond your budget,” she said.

  “You don’t even have a budget. Remember? Why save for tomorrow when I may not live until tomorrow? Isn’t that your top motto Jamie?”

  “Ugh. I didn’t call for a lecture Mark. I need help.”

  “How much help?”

  “Four hundred and seventy five dollars.”

  “Your rent’s only five fifty.”

  She sighed. “Will you help me?”

  She listened to Mark go on about how he’d just paid his own rent and car note. Jamie pretended to be offended by his rejection. It didn’t work. He made it clear that he wasn’t to blame for her situation. If only she had resisted the urge to splurge. He even offered to let her stay at his place if things didn’t work out. It almost sounded like he wanted her evicted. She knew he loved her but she’d told him several times that she would not move in with him. He knew how she felt about shacking up. She told him that she would call him later.

  Where would she get the money? Not from her iron fisted parents. They cut her out of their hefty bank statements after college. They wanted her to stay in Georgia where they thought there were better opportunities for her Marketing degree. After going to college in Bowling Green, Ohio, she felt at home. She couldn’t even return the items she’d purchased because they were on the final sale rack. Who can resist designer luxury on sale? Her list now stood at one. The clock was ticking. She would try to reach Mariah on her lunch break.

  Ten minutes to get coffee and heat up a muffin. She headed for the pantry. When she walked in, the only person she saw was Jamal. He also came in early, just for the effect.

  “Hello Miss Georgia,” he greeted.

  “Morning New Yorker,” she replied.

  “I will be soon.”

  “You’re going back to New York?”

  “Don’t you listen through the grapevine? I’m being relocated.”

  She’d heard about his relocation. “Sorry,” she said. “It slipped my mind. Have I congratulated you?”

  “Not in public or in private,” he said.

  The wink made her laugh. Jamal’s executive player ass was always flirting. It had gotten him in semi-serious trouble before. He assumed that he was safe with her since they were the only two minorities on the floor. How would it look if one got the other in trouble? That and the fact that he never combined the flirting with graphics let him slide. He was cool but she had no interest in being one of his many conquests.

  “So…what do you say?”

  “Oh, excuse me Jamal, I didn’t hear you.”

  “I’m leaving here tomorrow and I wondered if we could go out tonight. Dinner and a movie.”

  “You know I have a man.”

  “I’m not trying to get involved like that Jamie. I just thought we could share my last night in the “O” saying “Ohhhhh.”

  “Stop the madness,” she said. Jamal was so full of himself. Jamie gave her usual comeback. “Vowels will cost you.”

  “I’d like to buy a vowel. Matter of fact, how much for three?”

  “Four hundred and seventy five dollars,” she blurted out. She was immediately embarrassed by her outburst. The four hundred and seventy five dollar problem was taking over her thoughts.

  “How in the hell did you come up with that figure? You owe a bill or something? That’s almost one sixty a letter,” he said.

  She recovered quickly. “Ha Ha, Spare me the breakdown. I thought we were joking.” She wiped her forehead.

  “Oh yeah…”

  “Well Jamal, I must begin my day. If I don’t see you…”

  “I’ll be here tomorrow. I’m flying out after work.”

  She headed towards the door with a wave. She couldn’t trust herself with any more conversation.

  “Jamie.” He called after her. Her head came back in the doorway. “How much for one oh?”

  She laughed out loud and cringed inside. “I don’t do singles.” With that, she walked away. She couldn’t believe she had indulged in that conversation. She really needed that money but she would not sell her oh’s.

  Jamie kicked off her retro Oxford pumps in defeat. Monday was definitely the longest work day of the week. After listening to Mariah rant and rave about how expensive it was to raise a child alone, her day became longer. She didn’t dare ask her for money. Add the unresolved rent dilemma and this was the longest day of the year.

  She sat on her overstuffed beige couch and debated between showering and throwing herself a pity party. She felt the tears threatening but refused to let them fall. No use crying now. How could she have been so stupid? She knew better than shopping before paying her bills. Her parents instilled this in her all through childhood. But she didn’t want to be like them. They were always scrimping and saving. They never enjoyed their hard earned money. She decided long ago, that she would never treat her money like rations. If she wanted it, she got it. There was always another pay check. Although she was almost always broke, she dressed and smelled like a million bucks. She ran her fingers through her hair and caught a whiff of her underarms. She laughed out loud. First the shower and then the pity party.
>
  Musiq Soulchild crooned from the stereo. I’ve learned that time waits for nothing...I’ve learned that my experiences enhanced my character... The party was on. Sexy pajamas, Moscato, and good music. She reached under the couch for her stash. Might as well do the damn thang. Just her luck, one was already rolled. She lit the tip and inhaled a long drag. Soon she was singing along and slow dancing by herself. She took another drag. Suddenly, she felt too good. Wine mellowed her out. Mix it with weed and she was full blown horny. She thought about Mark as she danced in the mirror. The phone rang.

  “Hello sweetheart.”

  “Well, hello beautiful. Why do you sound so sexy?”

  “I was just thinking about you,” Jamie purred.

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah. You coming over?”

  “Right to the point huh?” Mark said.

  “Mmm hmm.”

  “Jamie, are you high?”

  She sighed. Mark didn’t like her getting high. “No I’m not high. Why I gotta be high to want you over?”

  “You need to stop smoking that shit.”

  “I said I’m not high. Are you coming or not?” She was horny as hell and here he was stressing about her being high. The last thing she wanted was another boring ass lecture.

  He laughed. “It’s funny. You’ve got money for weed but can’t pay your rent.”

  She felt like she’d been slapped. “Don’t worry about what I spend my money on.”

  “I wouldn’t if you…just call me when you’re sober.” He hung up.

  No he didn’t. Bastard. Fuck him. And he better not call back. She turned off her cell phone. Who the hell is he to check her? He was lucky she was with his broke ass. The next second her house phone rang. She snatched it off the hook and yelled, “What” awaiting his pitiful apology.

  “Did I catch you at a bad time?”

  “Who is this?”

  “The contestant from New York. Is Vanna around?”

  Despite her attitude, she fell out laughing. She laughed so hard that she cried. Jamal was a mess. “How did you get my number?”

  “You’re in the book.”

  “Was it that serious?”

  “I am. Are we on for tonight?”

  “Look Jamal, we’re cool but I ain’t givin you no ass.”

  “Get your mind out the gutter. This is about dinner and a movie.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “Seriously,” he said. “Just dinner and a movie. Come on Jamie. Celebrate ya boy leaving.”

  She didn’t have anything else to do. Might as well since Mark blew her high. “What time?” she asked.

  He gave her directions to his condo. She didn’t want to risk him coming to get her and meeting up with Mark. Although Mark was on her shit list, it looked like she’d be taking him up on his offer. She’d rather live at his place than at a homeless shelter. She polished off her joint and knew exactly what she was wearing. That shopping spree had paid off after all.

  Jamal opened the door looking like he had just stepped off the runway. He had on an open beige shirt with black linen pants and a six pack...of abs. He was definitely fine. She regretted smoking the rest of that weed. Being horny over a sexy man’s house was not a safe bet. She glided through the door. Something smelled wonderful.

  “You look…good,” he stammered. All eyes on the cleavage. She twirled around to show off her new silk Bebe bandage dress with the Zahara glitter sling backs.

  “Right back at cha,” she said. “What smells so good?”

  “Just some T-bones and garlic potatoes”

  “I thought we were going out.”

  “That was the original plan. I couldn’t reach you earlier so I started cooking. No use wasting good food.”

  “I didn’t know you could cook.”

  “I can burn baby.” He smiled seductively and Jamie felt a sudden tingle below.

  “What about the movie?”

  “I rented movies so we could lay back and relax.”

  He strolled to the kitchen. Even his back was sexy. She knew that she should leave but she didn’t want to. Her body temperature was rising. Jamal turned around and stared at her. His eyes traveled up and down her body. She felt nude. His eyes locked on her breasts. She heard herself moan. Apparently, he heard it too. He joined her in the living room and took her hand. He led her to the black leather sofa.

  “Would you like some wine?”

  Her head screamed no but she needed a distraction. “Yes please,” she mumbled softly. He kissed her ear and got up. Now she was wet. “Uh, where’s your bathroom?”

  He smiled knowingly. “Down the hall, second door on the left.”

  She followed his directions and rushed inside. She pressed her back to the door until her breathing calmed. What was she doing? She had to get herself together. She stepped to the mirror. The first thing she noticed was her nipples. The headlights were definitely on. She was so embarrassed. She put both hands on the sink and closed her eyes.

  She returned to the living room to find Jamal holding her Blackberry. She panicked. “You didn’t answer my phone did you?”

  “Of course not. I was just checking it out. It’s nice.”

  She sat down and he scooted next to her. She noticed the two wine flutes on the table.

  “A toast to success,” he said.

  She was starting to think he was cheap until she tasted the Moet. It was chilled to perfection. She started getting warm immediately. She decided that she wouldn’t stay long and Jamal agreed to watch Love and Basketball before dinner.

  Halfway into the love scene, she felt Jamal rubbing her thigh. It felt good so she didn’t stop him. Damn her for drinking three glasses of wine. He cupped her left breast. Before she could protest, his tongue was in her mouth. It tasted sweet from the wine. He kissed her greedily. She concentrated on his rhythm and found herself straddled on his lap. His hands moved up her thighs and guided her dress up to her waist. She felt his manhood through her panties and rolled her hips in response. He began to lift her dress over her head. Oh well, she thought. He’ll be gone tomorrow and no one will ever know. Her cell phone rang. She paused.

  “Let it ring baby,” Jamal said.

  She felt a pang of guilt. It was probably Mark wondering where she was. She checked the I.D. and it was him. She couldn’t answer it over here anyway. After the ringing subsided, the message tone beeped urgent.

  “I have to check the message Jamal.”

  He breathed heavily and sucked his teeth. She rolled her eyes at him and reached for the phone. The message wasn’t urgent but Mark was pissed. He ended the message by saying that he knew what was going on-she must be too high to answer her phone. Here she was feeling guilty about all this bumpin and grindin and he was still on that shit.

  Jamal grabbed her hand. The stress from the day grabbed hold of her and she was instantly sober. “Four seventy-five right?”

  “Excuse me?” she said irritated.

  “I’d like to buy those vowels.”

  She downed the newest round of wine and sat back on his lap. She gave him a passionate kiss. Fuck Mark. Ain’t nothing goin on but the rent.

  Jamie rolled over completely satisfied. The king sized sleigh bed was a mess and the vanilla candles were on their last flicker. Jamal put it down for two straight hours. She smiled and looked over at him. His eyes were closed and he snored softly. She checked the time. It was way past her bedtime. She had to work in the morning. She got dressed before shaking Jamal. He didn’t budge. She shook him harder and called his name. He opened his eyes.

  “Jamal, I’m leaving.”

  “Just lock the bottom lock.” He rolled over.

  Damn. He wasn’t even going to walk her to the door. And she still needed to get her money. She called his name again. He sighed. She asked him to walk her to the door and give her the money. He gave a soft laugh. She waited.

  He sat up in the bed and wiped his eyes. Relieved, Jamie stood. He got up and led her to the door. He opened the
door and told her to drive home safely. Then he smiled a devious smile.

  “You didn’t give me my money,” she said softly.

  He just stood there smiling. Jamie glared at him but he just kept on smiling. He wasn’t giving her any money. Her instincts told her to scratch his eyes out and start breaking shit. But she was ashamed. Ashamed for being unable to pay her bills and stooping to this level. She wanted to cry. But she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t give him any more satisfaction. She didn’t look back on the way to her SUV.